upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_11_10.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. I want to live forever. I really do want to learn how to fly. [ Think of the clothes! Amazing flowing capes (in warm toasty fleecy material) that you could soar through the sky in; the goggles and gloves. Tomorrow there'll be other people dancing and being beautiful, and I'll have to be locked in a different house with new camaras and constant video surveillance. Even the most amazing things are chewed up and spat out the next week. I could blo...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2002_06_17.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. S leaving a note that he hoped would say more. Another glance at the clock, I need to go. Outside I shiver as the air rubs abrasively across my face, it darts up sleeves, through holes and around my whole encumbered body as I stride towards the station feeling traitorous, alert and, for the first time in over two years, a little bit afraid. 18 December 2003. George. 15 December 2003. Jamie. 11 December 2003. Dan. 8 December 2003. Victor. Writes: Th...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_06_16.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Choose your own adventure. Clearly your mental calculation wasn't so mental; alerted by the mumbling behind her, the attractive brunette in front of you turns around and smiles. Your girl is sitting by the window, the great Boeing looming up behind her. You take a seat opposite her. Your seat is a window seat. As you are cramming as much as you can into the overhead locker, a stewardess comes by and, leaning in, whispers "A word? 33 The Flannel Pig...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_12_08.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Discovers you're only as old as the band you see. The lights go down, a cheer is raised to the roof of this hall which could be attached to any swimming pool or ice rink in the world. I am relieved to find that I still get a shiver down the spine. We have already looked excitedly at the ceiling, wondering when the large black heart balloons will be released. The lead singer shouts, "Good evening, - - - -! And, inanely, "Is everyone OK? Piltdown Man...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_11_20.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Has intellectual property issues. On the whole, not a great success, ending as it did in mumbling confession of love, response of utter incomprehension and threats of violence from older brother. Hers, not mine. Still, the process of development always requires a few hits and a lot of misses. Did Microsoft give up just because their first two or three dozen operating systems were puddles of shiny wank? In a year it will mean that I have no idea how...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_08_18.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. The two have been together for a reasonable period of time now. Their relationship encompasses many clichés of duality - master/apprentice, innocent/worldly, lawkeeper/rebel, clean/scruffy, top/bottom. Before leaving for his meeting, the older one leans in close so that his breath warms his partner's cheek and mutters in his cockney accent a warning for the younger to be on the alert. And pinches his arse. How about: the bleach blond guy with sharp...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_07_07.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Is straight out of the Sunday supplement. Mark ( not his real name. Oh, it's still something of a sideline" says Mark when I question him. "People do occasionally come through wanting something a bit hotter that a chilli sausage roll, a bit tastier than a Danish pastry, if you catch my drift.". They might actually want a Danish" I venture. Yet many of today's changes in career are catalysed not out of a specific desire for better quality of life or...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_12_11.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Gold, always believe in Dan. This is one of the reasons why I am here, sweating under the lights, and you are one of a global audience of hundreds of millions, on the sofa with one fly button undone: you have never seen Hotshot. Not the Charlie Sheen movie. This is a serious matter. Hotshot. You can see where this is going, can't you? And the beginning of Major League Soccer. In another world I didn't watch Hotshot. In another world I went out that...
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_09_11.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. How to Bring Us in Line With the Future. Gives us a brief primer. Firstly: Black text on green screens. Remember this? Next - casings for said techy wonders should be white. Whoever predicted that come the millennium we would all be covered in shiny white outer casings was halfway there. People are too scared of spilling tomato soup over their trousers to cope with white fabrics, but you can wipe a computer! Finally, squid wrestling. See above.
upsideclown.com
upsideclown
http://www.upsideclown.com/2003_09_29.shtml
200 articles. Two years. Whelk. The best of Upsideclown. Is mixing with the natives. Oh, it's not just here" Marcie said, "it's every major American city." I had met her fifteen minutes previously in the girl bar on the lower East side, and we were sitting with our martinis on the leather banquettes, cruising the women as they came in. Marcie was as thin as the rest of them. It's just not eating much and lots of exercise, that's all it is" she said. "It's entirely achievable". 18 December 2003. George.
